Cry Me A River

Here in Melbourne the quality of many of our street magazines is questionable to say the least, though whilst cleaning out my shit today I found one I fell in love with precisely 4 years ago. It was a nifty little mag called Lucky, but the reason I loved it so much was for the last page column called EGO TRIPPER written by a fellow named Cry Bloxsome. His particular brand of nonchalant existentialist ramblings appealed both to my douchebag teenage side who thought he was cooler than everyone else, and also my douchebag mature (debatable) side that thought he was smarter than everyone else. That is because Cry Bloxsome is a cool cat. He is insightful and humorous and thinks on equally magnetic levels with both his brain and his dick. The particular issue I perused that dimly lit Melbourne morning contained the column entitled ‘Fake it for the City' which you can read below. To read more of his Ego Tripper columns and other material head to Cry Bloxsome, and check out where to buy his first novel 'Living Between Fucks' for something that is questionable in every other facet bar quality.

My eyelids gained weight and my full lips slackened.
My clothes looked messier too, which could be explained by my body beginning to slump. I picked up a glass, drank from it, and put it right back down in the watermark. Like nothing ever happened. Except the glass got emptier and my blood got more alcoholic.
I leaned on the door handle on the way out and gave the outdoor stars the finger sign for Fuck You!
Then smiled.
The body is fun to poison when you expect nothing from humanity. Four thousand years now we’ve been recording history and the only obvious achievements have been to increase the population to breaking point, while wildly producing weapons of mass-destruction that look like dicks.
You’d be a fool to get upset by your own irrelevance after the year two thousand.
So, what now?
Irvine Welsh (Author of Trainspotting) asks:
“What can I do, really do for the emancipation of working people in this country”.
His answer is:
“A resounding fuck all.”
You see, I used to think I could be young fast and poor in a high-art way. Then it occurred to me that I’d never really been fast or high-art. That left me with young and poor.
The closest I got to high-art this last year was with a woman. Her name’s a secret but she eats toast better than anyone. When she puts on trucker hats she looks like the flag girl at the Grand Prix. Her fringe goes across her forehead in black strokes. And when she walks down the road towards the sea she calls back ‘Do that’.
“I’ll call you,” I yell.
“Do that!” she answers.
I’ve been ditched before, but getting ditched by her was downright film-able. She waited in the rain wearing pajamas and a jacket, then stepped out of the headlights and into the passengers seat. The car was borrowed. The city was looming up, lit up, and unholy in front of us. I was going to suffocate with the rain on the windows, so I got out and she hugged me at the start of the path. With an even face she says “Bye” and we turn away, and we walk away.
Where do you go. You might fit your life in two bags and leave, but for where. Where is happiness.
I saw two dudes sitting on the ground along Brunswick Street, one was on the heroin nod so his mate tried to wake up by holding a lighter flame to his face. He saw I was looking at him so he took his finger off the button and smiled. I’ve seen it written that the difference between childhood and adulthood is the ability to accept disappointment.
The flight from Perth to Melbourne took three hours. Three hours might be all it takes to fuck a life.
Or start one.



Okie Dokie Artichokie

Left: An artists impression of what John Howard might look like on 24th of November

So, ARE YOU READY FOR THIS!.... It's my birthday on election day, how not cool (uncle John just wanted to rep the country on my b'day,), and so i have conjured up a birthday slash Christmas wish list, i thought i might let it out of the can just in case any one wanted to help it along, goes as follows in not order of preference:

1. A make over to look like tom from guess who (hot) hAHa

2. an Alife t-shirt cause they're like ohhhhhh boy

3. guess who and operation the board game (the new one)

4. pair of DC's the colab ones with lemar and dauley

5. pegleg nyc hoodie, also they just released there new fall/winter line on the net so hit that up its dope shit used to be free postage but i think they changed it cause of me...i got free postage (when i bought my T couple of weeks ago) and turns out the postage cost as much as my t-shirt lollercoasterz they paid for it YEAHA BOY

6. and... surprise me ;)

on another note, GEE WIZZ totz making waves in the Melbourne's independent music community get on them before WE BLOW UP

People in glass houses...

Fuck them! Let's talk about people in Crystal Castles... they are visiting Gee Wizz here in Melbourne town! All of us in Gee Wizz love these guys and their innovative icy cold 8-bit synth sound, and all of us have different favourite songs... pretty much because they are all that and a bag of potato chips - both their productions and their remixes. Crystal Castles will only be playing at Gee Wizz endorsed Streetparty events whilst in Melbourne (besides the Meredith festival), exclusively at Pogo at Geddes Lane on the 20th of December, then on the 22nd at Click Click... you can buy tickets from us, so let us know and book it in children!

Here are our favourites:
Nic - Crystal Castles - Loving & Caring (7inch) (zshare)
Jesse - Goodbooks - Leni (Crystal Castles Rmx)
Mike - Crystal Castles vs Health - Crime Wave
Liz Satincrack Sweetcheeks Houston Shoegazer - Crystal Castles - Alice Practice (Futurecop Rmx)


Your name's not Dan! You're not coming in!

soooooo klaxons were in town on satdy finally after waiting for the dooshes leg to get all better (needless to say there were no stage dives from any of the fellas!) we got to see them, hannah and the annas, and a complete coverup of some kind of terrorist attack all on one night.

Opening with the bouncer.. a track definitely made for a show opener and a bass line Robbie could probably even manage I came to the conclusion this was probably one of my favourite bands for the last year and they didn't let me down. But they didn't really blow me or the other boys away either.. we saw them at the modular xmas party last year and we all agreed they were way better... but that could be due to the Espy being a much more intimate venue..

Everyone still had a good time and the crowd eventually got into it especially for Gravity's Rainbow and Atlantis to Interzone. My favourite was Not Over Yet. I think all three of those songs would have been far better encore songs rather than Four Horsemen of 2012 but what can you do!

Now almost as exciting.. not really but alll night after there were cops flyin with there lights on everywhere, even an Australian Federal Police car but I haven't seen or heard anything on the radio so I'm guessing a cover up.. I'm not going to elaborate too much.. Ive said too much already!

if this blog gets mysteriously shut down soon you'll know why!

Special mention to the 23 people who asked us on 23 separate occasions where 2 Floors Up is, how fucking hard is that place to find??? and why the fuck would they think we know??

Klaxons - Not Over Yet (zSHARE)
Klaxons - Not Over Yet Gentlemen Drivers Remix (Flash requested this remix)

Play that funky music white boy

So Friday saw the first ever DJ set by Gee Wizz at Fashion Keyboard, we played from 2-3 and considering how much we had drunk before hand, played pretty well!

Yeah we had a couple of hick ups but that was over shadowed by our awesome taste in music.

anywayzzz heres some pics from the night...


half alive all good

1/2ALIVE (myspace) is a collective from vancouver who throw massive parties and make superduper mashes. tyler fedchuk, tony x, my!gay!husband! and co know how to throw a party and know good music, so obviously we have a lot in common with them. even better, they love australian music (although who doesn't these days) and want to get down here and party (it's true they told me on myspace heeeh).

One of TF's newer remixes is a chilled disco reup of fellow canadians Tegan & Sara (who are awesome and you should all know from Walking with a Ghost fame). Other sweet tracks from Fedchuk's repetoire include Purple Ribbon All Star's Kryptonite mixed with Nicky Van She & Dangerous Dan's version of Around the World (classic) and of course their contribution to the world of Club Action remixes. if you would like links to more of their sheeet drop us a liiiiiiiine here or on ourspace.

Tegan & Sara - Back In Your Head (TF's 1/2alive disco remix)

Tegan & Sara - Walking With a Ghost

Yo Majesty Feat. Wolf & Cub with Simian Mobile Disco - Club Action (TF's halfALIVE rave breakdown)

Purple Ribbon All Stars VS Nicky Van She & Dangerous Dan - Kryptonite (TF's halfALIVE mix)


So wrong it's right

If you haven't heard Errors you should. Signed to Mogwai's label, these Glaswegian upstarts are what Ratatat would sound like if they were still cool (yeah i went there). Their sound is difficult to pinpoint and some of the efforts to do so are hilarious, such as "blend sky-scraping synths with guitar riffs born of both rock and punk with post prefix firmly attached"... what the fuck? Just listen to their music it is good.

ERRORS - Salut France
ERRORS - Hans Herman


Fashion Keyboard

Ladies and Gentlemen, it's the night you have all been waiting for!

GEE WIZZ will be DJing at Fashion Keyboard for the very first time on Friday the 19th of October, so come down and bring all your hot friends and dance yo arses off, because you know we are gonna make you sweat!

Not convinced yet? how about FREE entry, $2 pots and 2 Jagerbombs for $10 !!!

see you there

Places like these...

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

so i got the new Architecture in Helsinki album 'places like these' (and i know its been around for ages ) and flash posted a while ago how scala and kolcny brothers were good to listen to whilst doin architecture... and i thought man so would AIH... but thats the ooooold AIH, no longer have they gone with the whole listen to us while your chillin in a hammock drinkin or drivin really slow around the beach! Pretty much all of their new songs are more like do the whirlwind but with the dude singing instead of the chick.. she pretty does sweet fuck all now except puts in a few yeows and wooos every now and then...

Don't get me wrong.. it's still pretty damn cool and would probably be heaps better live (AIH are prob one of the best bands I've seen live and pretty much inspired GWAP) but I cant help likening the new sound to what the muppets would sound like if they grew up and got on the illicit substances... it also doesn't help that the heart it races film clip even has freakin puppets in it singing and dancing

this is the 7th song (of only 10 the slackers), called Debbie.. picture animal (pictured above) drumming...

AIH - Debbie



Bros before Hoes

I found this tune whilst browsing the net, its by a duo called High Powered Boys, which is one half Surkin, one half Bobmo so you know its bound to be good!
anyway i dont know much else about this collaboration, all i know is this track is great...



Players, Haters, i have popped my blogging cherry!

This video is fucking funny lolz

Fashion Keyboard on Friday night was AWESOME, heaps of peeps repp'n, cheap piss, music was like crazy good i thought (like an indie and electro version of vega)... just putting it out there you can take it or throw it back at me, just watch the video!

P.s also in popular news i read that some scientists found the purpose of the human's appendix...YAY!


Friday I'm In Love

The rain didn't rain on our parade.....
Happy birth anniversary JB

Here is a super special surprise classic song for the occasion:
JBday Surprise